Everyone is human~

I wanted to write a little personal post, a little insight, into my life.  As some may have noticed, 2017 is non-existant as far as my blog site goes.  Even the final part of 2016.  We never really know what is going to happen in our lives, even if we think we have it all or even mostly figured out.  We have ideas of what our lives are, what they will be and what to expect.  And you know what happens to those ideas? Life.  Life sometimes happens to those ideas.   Without going into great detail, life is exactly what happened to me in the very early part of 2017.  I had been with my husband since highschool,  over 16 years, married for over 10 and our 3 beautiful daughters when the marriage was ended.  Half a lifetime of memories, hopes, dreams and expectations.  So while I continued on “living”, I was going through the motions of life.

I returned to work in the Veterinary industry after my maternity leave, and to the photography world and continuing to be a mother to my children and maintain my household.  I wish I could tell you I did it well.  The stress of this life changing event took hold of my physical health as well.  Illness and sickness plagued me and it culminated in a near-death septic infection that landed me in the hospital for a week during Easter of last year.  I had emergency chest CTs, emergency head CTs (for a potential brain aneurysm), ultrasounds on my chest, legs, lung scans, more ECGs than I could even count and rounds and rounds of medication.  I turned a corner about 4 days after going to the hospital and began my return back to health.  When I was discharged, I had diagnosed blood clots in my lungs and so many medications to take I had to make a chart for the first 2 weeks at home!  (As of 6 months from my diagnosis I am blood clot free and no longer required to take blood thinners!). Two months after this hospital visit I was rushed from my veterinary clinic via ambulance with the fear (from paramedics and doctors) of either a small stroke or a heart attack!  Another short stint in the hospital, further CT scans, cardiac tests and a cardiac stress test revealed that I did not have either! Whew!  However, I was pulled from work and placed on medical sick leave.

I continued to try to live my new life as a single mother of 3, co-parenting and navigating our new “relationship” as co-parents.   By August I had decided I was sick of just surviving day by day, I wanted to be LIVING!   I was offered a position within an incredible business, run by an incredible and inspiring woman, at Bounce Hair Boutique.  This job opportunity was presented and offered to me just prior to my “Journey to find myself”, a self discovering 3 week solo road trip out to the East Coast to and it was one of the decisions I had to make during this trip.  The veterinary industry held my heart for almost half my life and I adored it.  However, it comes with its stress, long hours and heartache. During my trip I made a decision that after 15 years in the Veterinary industry and as a Registered Veterinary Technician, I was leaving the profession.  I was going to focus on my children, my photography business and my life and accept this path at Bounce.

When I returned from my trip, I felt like a new person.  No, not a new person, I felt like ME.  A rejuvenated ME, ready to face life with take on my new challenges and be LIVING, not just SURVIVING each day.  I was determined to be a better mother, the best mother, and a happier, self -loving (instead of self-loathing) woman!

I could quite literally, go on forever about my thoughts and feelings and fears and accomplishments, but I did say I was going to write a “little post”.  🙂  I simply wanted to express that I didn’t simply fall off the earth, but I did have to let certain things slide while I determined how best to manage all that I needed to in my life.

My road trip was one of the most incredible things I have ever, and could have done for myself.  I didn’t plan a single thing past the first day.  I planned to drive from Windsor to Kingston and spend a night at my friends house and from there? Who knew!  Each stop I asked the locals where were some places they recommended to see and photograph and I got amazing tips! I didn’t know where I was going to sleep until close to evening each night; I very rarely chose a “conventional” place….some nights I even slept in my van (I brought a mattress and had prepared to do that a few times). I was on this journey to read, discover and experiences….not for fancy places to sleep and expensive food. 🙂

I journaled and thought and read books. I laughed and sang out loud.  I cried and cursed.  I experienced life in a manner I had never before.  I spoke with so many strangers, meeting some from all over Canada and the United States and loved hearing their stories.  I looked and smiled at anyone and everyone I could, opening myself up to whatever was brought my way.  I contemplated who I was and how I had strayed from who I was. I relished in the realization of some pretty major “epiphanies” into the person I wanted the world to see.

My first stop was at my friend Danielle and Bill’s house.  I grew up through highschool with Dane and our daughters attended the same grade school until they moved away a few months before I began my trip.  It was great to catch up and see their home, their girls and the new store they were starting (They own Cash For Clothes in Windsor and in Kingston!).  Dane and I explored some of Kingston before I left on my way to Quebec.  I had yet to decide if I was going to stop in Montreal or head right to Old Quebec City.

Over the next little while, I’ll continue showing parts of my journey and talking about my trip ❤
xo
Clarissa

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